One and all have sometime in their lives been the victim of some sort of emotional pain as a result of harsh words or actions of another.
Suffering from this kind of hurt is entirely natural, but every so often the hurt lasts much longer than expected.
This makes it so much harder to be happy.
But if we are unable to get past it and move on, it becomes a monster that can ruin relationships. People who cannot forgive are destined to become alone.
The ability to forgive is something that can change your life overwhelmingly. It doesn’t always come easy, but like so many other things, it is simply a skill that can be learned. All it takes is a bit of practice.
Here are 8 easy ways to help you learn to forgive and forget and move on with your life, achieving greater happiness:
- Imagine how your life would be if you can let go of your hurt. Target it by making a list of how your life would improve if you forgive those responsible for what has happened to you. Imagine how free you would feel. Imagine how your relationship with that person will change.
- Make a list of the drawbacks of nurturing those negative feelings. How is it impacting you and the people closest to you? Think of the effect it has on your children or other loved ones if you can’t forgive your wife, your parents, siblings or anyone else? What is it going to solve by staying on the path you’re on?
- Make a decision to let it go. It is very difficult to get something done if you don’t really have the intention of doing so. You don’t miraculously lose 25 pounds or start cutting back your expenses by an extra $500 every month – it all starts with a positive and dedicated intention, so commit to finding a way to forgive and forget, and then move on.
- You have a choice. Realize that. Although emotional, we are also intelligent, caring creatures. We don’t simply react with a kneejerk to everything like an animal. You have the ability to choose how you want to interpret things and react. You are able to change your mind and make a different choice. Just slow down, think about it, and choose.
- Be aware of other people’s feelings. It’s easy to simply assume the other person is just a bad person, but there might be much more to it than that. Think of what else they might have going on in their lives? Maybe they were the victim of something in their past that caused the behavior that upset you. Find out what you can and try to see things from their perspective. More often than not you might be surprised by what you find.
- Contemplate your part. Maybe you contributed to the issue in some way or another. It takes two to tango – chances are you are not 100% innocent when some kind of disagreement occurs. Realizing your part in the issue can help you understand their situation. It is important to forgive yourself first if you regret anything you did or said.
- Turn to the current situation. Focus on the here and now. Don’t ponder in the past – it simply keeps the hurt churning. One of the keys to happiness is to be in the present. Stand in front of a mental mirror. What do you see? What are you busy with? If you’re washing the dishes, be 100% aware of the fact that you’re washing the dishes, not thinking about other things. Be present.
- Get over it and move on. Forgive whoever that did or say something to you that upset you. You will immediately feel better. We are at our best when we act with compassion. We feel great when forgiveness and understanding are automatically part of our lives. Forgiveness is something you largely do for yourself.
The ability to forgive and forget is a skill that takes work to be good at it. But remain smart; it is not always the end of the world.
If someone sidelined you at work, learn from it and be careful to prevent it from happening again. To forgive and forget means you should be able to let it go without thinking about that person and being miserable every day for the next 5 years.
A negative emotion is something that tells us something might be out of place. Take proper action when something happens and get it behind you. Forgive, learn from it, and move on!
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